Since I have been busy with work related matters, I thought I would take this time now to wrap up a few things.
1. Pick of the Fringe
As always, I was somewhat on target. I nailed Critic Pick and All Access Pick (and if you count listing Screw You Revue in the Producer's Pick, then I nailed that one as well). Audience Pick is always the hardest one to figure out because it really depends on the audience's interest and willingness to vote for you. I was somewhat surprised that Don't Cross the Steams did not win. Oh well, there is always Indy Fringe for them to get that distinction.
My cast chose Screw You Review as our Artist Pick, so I was glad that they won for Producer's Pick. I liked the show a lot, even though I was a butt of their jokes one too many times (I'm sorry, no one messes with my baseball cap. No one. Not even a guy dressed up as a dirty old man.)
2. Chris Dooley
Since I was not at the last performace, I learned that the actor who played Steve, our lead, (Chris Dooley) broke his arm the day before our last performance. However, Chris was a trooper and did the last show, cast and all. I wish him a speedy recovery.
On a more sarcastic note, all I have to say is that I leave the show early and my actors can't keep their limbs in check. Who can figure out the riddle which is an actor?
3. The end of the world.
A question I had asked Chris in the set of interview questions which he could not get to was whether he believed the world was going to come to an end at the close of 2012--be it through a Zompocalypse or by some other means. I thought I would answer that question myself, since it is an interesting question for all of us.
My answer is a firm YES and NO.
What I mean by that is that I do believe that we are heading into a time of great upheaval and turmoil that is coinciding with the close of 2012 and the end of the Mayan Calendar (which is supposed to signal the end of time). I have had to think long and hard about the end of the world while writing and producing this play and what I feel is going to happen is as follows:
As a society, we have stretched ourselves in ways that make us vulnerable. The ecological crisis with global warming and our wasting of natural resources, our failing financial system, the general malaise of a society which doesn't give a damn about addressing and correcting these problems, combined with our overdependence on fossil fuels and outside countries to supply us with what we need. We are exposed and any one of these things could cause us to tumble into a worst position that we are in right now. No Virginia, we will not die in a Zombie apocalypse, but we are not out of the woods.
My greatest fear with the coming end of the year is that our planet is supposed to come in allignment with the galactic center. From some sources that I've read, that could theoretically expose us to deadly bursts of radiation which could obliterate all life on this planet. Now this is a huge prediction, but what if some sort of minor radiation event were to occur and it caused a difficulty for growing conditions. With our strained infastructure, we would be exposed to something I pray does not happen.
Now I am not going to be going into a bomb shelter come December 21, but I also realize that now is a good time to clear one's house for the change that lies ahead. I take my cue from T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland--Should I at least set my lands in order? Substitute lands for house and you have my position on the matter.
Sorry for the doom and gloom at the end of this blog. It is just that I feel you my readers need a Hollywood ending. We are not in Hollywood and I pray that all of this is just me being mildly paranoid (which I hope is the case).
Until next time, dear blog reader, I bid you adieu.
Alan
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Pick of the Fringe
Since it is only about three minutes til the curtain of our last performance of Tainted Love, I thought I would discuss what I think may happen for Pick of the Fringe. Since there are now so many Picks of the Fringe, I will abstain from talking about the Artist Pick (that is anyone's guess). Here are my best guesses as to what is going to happen for the other Pick of the Fringes:
Audience's Pick--Probably it will go to Don't Cross the Streams. They did incredibly well with all of their shows being sold out. There might also be a few other contenders, but I am pretty certain they will get it.
Critic's Pick--Toss up between Grim and Fischer and Bombus and Berrylinne. Both were great shows and I believe were generally well-received by the critics.
Producer's Pick--This is anyone's guess. There are several fine shows which could fit within this category, so it is anyone's guess. Sometimes the Producer's Pick chooses a dark horse winner, so it is really hard. Bombus might also be up for this pick. I have also heard good enough things about Methtacular! and Radio Star (both of which I did not get a chance to see) that they might also be in the running. I would also add to the lineup The Screw You Revue, which I saw and thought was very funny.
Artists's Pick--I have no idea. Won't even hazard a guess.
Full Frontal Pick--Grim and Fischer. With only three performances, it is possible that the full frontal people were the only ones to see it in the numbers needed to vote it as their pick.
We will see what happens tonight at around 11 or so to see how right I was.
Take care. It has been a pleasure sharing with you all my journey through the Fringe with you!
Alan
Audience's Pick--Probably it will go to Don't Cross the Streams. They did incredibly well with all of their shows being sold out. There might also be a few other contenders, but I am pretty certain they will get it.
Critic's Pick--Toss up between Grim and Fischer and Bombus and Berrylinne. Both were great shows and I believe were generally well-received by the critics.
Producer's Pick--This is anyone's guess. There are several fine shows which could fit within this category, so it is anyone's guess. Sometimes the Producer's Pick chooses a dark horse winner, so it is really hard. Bombus might also be up for this pick. I have also heard good enough things about Methtacular! and Radio Star (both of which I did not get a chance to see) that they might also be in the running. I would also add to the lineup The Screw You Revue, which I saw and thought was very funny.
Artists's Pick--I have no idea. Won't even hazard a guess.
Full Frontal Pick--Grim and Fischer. With only three performances, it is possible that the full frontal people were the only ones to see it in the numbers needed to vote it as their pick.
We will see what happens tonight at around 11 or so to see how right I was.
Take care. It has been a pleasure sharing with you all my journey through the Fringe with you!
Alan
Zombie Survival Tip 7
In this last zombie survial tip, I want to give the recipe for making your own Zombie repellant. This is referenced within the play, but I thought it would be nice if the recipe was out there in case people want to make this for themselves.
This is what you need:
Preparation
3-5 pounds of rotten meat.
This can be easly gotten by going to your nearest grocery store and picking up meat that is just about the expire and keeping it outside in the boiling sun for a few days. the juicier the meat, the better
2-3 cups of animal blood
If at all possible, do not kill your favorite puppy or kitten to get this blood. Ask your local butcher to save you the run-off from the butchering. If they cannot do that, then go to a local pet store and drain the blood from a puppy or kitten. Make children are not anywhere near where you are because they will hate you and call you a psychopath forever.
1 cup of whole peppercorns
1 bucket to contain the above ingredients
1 plaid shirt, preferably last year's style
Procedure
1. Add into the bucket the rotten meat and animal blood. Stir till all parts of the rotten meat have been covered by the animal blood.
2. Add the peppercorns, making certain to sprinkle liberally. There is disagreement within the Zombie slaying community over the need for ground pepper or whole peppercorns. I am going traditional with the whole peppercorns.
3. Dunk the plaid shirt into the bucket, making certain to spread the mixture throughly onto the shirt. The plaid coloring should give way to the blood coloring.
4. Remove from the bucket and hang up to let excess blood and guts drip off of shirt. This should take about an hour.
5. You are ready to use your shirt. Be certain to put some of the blood and guts mixture into a spray bottle to moisten yourself occasionally. You can test whether it works by entering into a pack of Zombies and see what happens.
PLEASE NOTE: The author of this blog is not responsible for the ineffectiveness of the Zombie Repellant Shirt should your meat/blood mixture is too fresh. Otherwise you have made yourself into a walking Zombie Smorgasbord--and that is not a good thing.
This is what you need:
Preparation
3-5 pounds of rotten meat.
This can be easly gotten by going to your nearest grocery store and picking up meat that is just about the expire and keeping it outside in the boiling sun for a few days. the juicier the meat, the better
2-3 cups of animal blood
If at all possible, do not kill your favorite puppy or kitten to get this blood. Ask your local butcher to save you the run-off from the butchering. If they cannot do that, then go to a local pet store and drain the blood from a puppy or kitten. Make children are not anywhere near where you are because they will hate you and call you a psychopath forever.
1 cup of whole peppercorns
1 bucket to contain the above ingredients
1 plaid shirt, preferably last year's style
Procedure
1. Add into the bucket the rotten meat and animal blood. Stir till all parts of the rotten meat have been covered by the animal blood.
2. Add the peppercorns, making certain to sprinkle liberally. There is disagreement within the Zombie slaying community over the need for ground pepper or whole peppercorns. I am going traditional with the whole peppercorns.
3. Dunk the plaid shirt into the bucket, making certain to spread the mixture throughly onto the shirt. The plaid coloring should give way to the blood coloring.
4. Remove from the bucket and hang up to let excess blood and guts drip off of shirt. This should take about an hour.
5. You are ready to use your shirt. Be certain to put some of the blood and guts mixture into a spray bottle to moisten yourself occasionally. You can test whether it works by entering into a pack of Zombies and see what happens.
PLEASE NOTE: The author of this blog is not responsible for the ineffectiveness of the Zombie Repellant Shirt should your meat/blood mixture is too fresh. Otherwise you have made yourself into a walking Zombie Smorgasbord--and that is not a good thing.
Interview with Derek Evans (Tyler)
Part of my plan for this blog was to showcase each of the principles in the show with a mini interview. Owing to Chris's work commitments and Emily's final exams, the only one of the principle cast that was able to provide an interview was Derek Evans (Tyler). Below are some questions and his responses.
Describe your character Tyler to the readers. What motivaties the man?
Tyler is a very loving person who likes to help. At the beginning of the play he is motivated by finding a cure but once the project is shut down he is motivated by his love for his friend Steve and helping him.
Tyler and Steve have an interesting dynamic going throughout this play, since Tyler is the main person Steve talks to as he is figuring out how to save Cassie. Explain their relationship.
Tyler and Steve are very comfortable with each other. They're best friends from my point of view.
As a source of comic relief, Tyler also has a scene where he laments drinking the only beer left in Los Angles, Michelob Ultra Pomegranate Raspberry. As part of the rehearsal process, you got a chance to sample this beer. As a beer drinker, what was your opinion?
Is it wrong to say that I sort of liked it? Haha No but seriously it was interesting. It surely isn't the worst beer that has ever been made but it's not on my list of favorites.
It is unclear during Tyler's last scene what happens to him. What do you think happened to him? Did he get out of Los Angeles alive?
After Tyler loses signal he heads to Kansas City to be with his wife Marie. Over the next few weeks he tries to reach Steve but can't. He doesn't ever give up hope that Steve made it out alive but he doesn't know either.
Describe your character Tyler to the readers. What motivaties the man?
Tyler is a very loving person who likes to help. At the beginning of the play he is motivated by finding a cure but once the project is shut down he is motivated by his love for his friend Steve and helping him.
Tyler and Steve have an interesting dynamic going throughout this play, since Tyler is the main person Steve talks to as he is figuring out how to save Cassie. Explain their relationship.
Tyler and Steve are very comfortable with each other. They're best friends from my point of view.
As a source of comic relief, Tyler also has a scene where he laments drinking the only beer left in Los Angles, Michelob Ultra Pomegranate Raspberry. As part of the rehearsal process, you got a chance to sample this beer. As a beer drinker, what was your opinion?
Is it wrong to say that I sort of liked it? Haha No but seriously it was interesting. It surely isn't the worst beer that has ever been made but it's not on my list of favorites.
It is unclear during Tyler's last scene what happens to him. What do you think happened to him? Did he get out of Los Angeles alive?
After Tyler loses signal he heads to Kansas City to be with his wife Marie. Over the next few weeks he tries to reach Steve but can't. He doesn't ever give up hope that Steve made it out alive but he doesn't know either.
Tainted Love Director Kevin Crowley
I thought I would take some time during the end of our run (our last show goes up in approximately 35 minutes) to talk a little bit about our director, Kevin Crowley. Unfortunately owing to teaching and other professional commitments, he has not been able to attend most of our performances. However, without his comedic insight and ability to get actors (most notably Chris Dooley and Emily Fightmaster), Tainted Love would have been a radically different production. Kevin was responsible for Tyler breaking the fourth wall and asking who Steve is talking to during two of his monologues, as well as the cell phone throwing scenes, the number of Zombies roaming the ZQZ (I had initially written the play for four people and one swing Zombie), as well as the interesting homoerotic business going on when Steve finds Tyler packing to leave Los Angeles.
It has been a pleasure to work with Kevin because his sharp eye for comedic and dramatic detail sharpened this play considerably. I hope to work with him again on another project soon.
It has been a pleasure to work with Kevin because his sharp eye for comedic and dramatic detail sharpened this play considerably. I hope to work with him again on another project soon.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Zombie Survival Tip 6
This Zombie Survival Tip is going to be short, owing to the fact that I have work related matters which really need my attention. This is how you defeat a Zombie using a chainsaw.
Preparation
1 chainsaw. Be certain that the gas tank is filled.
1 pretty bow
1 pistol or flare gun
1 stick
Procedure
1. Identify which member of the living dead that you want to slay.
2. Start the chainsaw and put it on the ground. Be certain that it has a bow lovingly placed on the gas tank.
3. When the Zombie bends over the investigates either a) the chainsaw or b) the bow, take the pistol or flare gun and fire it directly at the gas tank of the chainsaw. Since this more requires an expert shot, make certain that you practice this move several times before using it in actual Zombie situations. Also be certain to seek protection behind some fortified bunker so as to avoid shrapnel.
4. The fireball and explosion should disarm, disleg, or decapitate the Zombie. To test for doneness, poke Zombie with a stick to see if it moves. If still not done, get another chainsaw and cut off the head with vigorous strokes.
Preparation
1 chainsaw. Be certain that the gas tank is filled.
1 pretty bow
1 pistol or flare gun
1 stick
Procedure
1. Identify which member of the living dead that you want to slay.
2. Start the chainsaw and put it on the ground. Be certain that it has a bow lovingly placed on the gas tank.
3. When the Zombie bends over the investigates either a) the chainsaw or b) the bow, take the pistol or flare gun and fire it directly at the gas tank of the chainsaw. Since this more requires an expert shot, make certain that you practice this move several times before using it in actual Zombie situations. Also be certain to seek protection behind some fortified bunker so as to avoid shrapnel.
4. The fireball and explosion should disarm, disleg, or decapitate the Zombie. To test for doneness, poke Zombie with a stick to see if it moves. If still not done, get another chainsaw and cut off the head with vigorous strokes.
Thursday's Performance
I have gotten behind with this blog on account of starting up Summer courses where I teach, so I hope the readers of this blog will indulge me with trying to get caught up here before another round of job commitments hit.
I must admit that this blog has been a lot more fun to write than I thought it would be. I am always of the opinion that you should live your live and not necessarily write about it in nauseating detail. What you end up getting is what I like to call a diarrhea writing. It spews forth without much reflection. With this blog, I have hoped to be somewhat reflective in what I have put up. If anything, it will be a good record of this time during the Fringe.
As for last night's performance, the theater was packed and the audience was really receptive. That was great because I had a friend video record the show. I am not certain how this video recording will come out, owing to the fact that Steve spends time on the floor. However, even an incomplete video recording is better than nothing and I would like to have some archival footage from this performance. In terms of the cast, they did a very nice job with the performance. I still think Monday night's performance was probably their best so far, but they have grown into their roles and have found their rhythm. I am always interested to see what Chris and Derek come up with during this cell phone call to Marie scene where Derek is waiting to see if his call goes through. Every night they say something different and I always enjoy seeing what they come up with during that pause as Derek tries to complete his call.
Thursday night's performance will be the last one that I will be seeing, so for me it was very bittersweet. I have so greatly enjoyed working with this cast and crew. They are a great group of actors.
I must admit that this blog has been a lot more fun to write than I thought it would be. I am always of the opinion that you should live your live and not necessarily write about it in nauseating detail. What you end up getting is what I like to call a diarrhea writing. It spews forth without much reflection. With this blog, I have hoped to be somewhat reflective in what I have put up. If anything, it will be a good record of this time during the Fringe.
As for last night's performance, the theater was packed and the audience was really receptive. That was great because I had a friend video record the show. I am not certain how this video recording will come out, owing to the fact that Steve spends time on the floor. However, even an incomplete video recording is better than nothing and I would like to have some archival footage from this performance. In terms of the cast, they did a very nice job with the performance. I still think Monday night's performance was probably their best so far, but they have grown into their roles and have found their rhythm. I am always interested to see what Chris and Derek come up with during this cell phone call to Marie scene where Derek is waiting to see if his call goes through. Every night they say something different and I always enjoy seeing what they come up with during that pause as Derek tries to complete his call.
Thursday night's performance will be the last one that I will be seeing, so for me it was very bittersweet. I have so greatly enjoyed working with this cast and crew. They are a great group of actors.
Michelob Ultra Pomegranate Raspberry Beer
Whenever Steve gets to the line about drinking the only beer left in Los Angeles in this Zombie Apocalypze, Michelob UItra Pomegranate Raspberry Beer, audiences get a big laugh. The story behind that laugh is really interesting. There actually is such a thing as Michelob Ultra Pomegranate beer. Our stage manager Steven found it in his local Walmarts. I also did a web search and you can buy it at the Party Source as well. I would not recommend buying too much of it because it has a surprising anti-piquant aftertaste. Our cast tried it during one rehearsal and the only person who thought it had some merit was Derek, who plays Tyler.
I will leave the final judgement on the worthiness of this frosty beverage to my readers. If you want to learn more about what other think about this beer, you can go to the following website:
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/29/36327
Bottoms up!
Alan
I will leave the final judgement on the worthiness of this frosty beverage to my readers. If you want to learn more about what other think about this beer, you can go to the following website:
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/29/36327
Bottoms up!
Alan
Theatrical Orgasm in the Third Row
The provocative title of this posting pretty much sums up my feelings for Monday's performance. Based on what my actors were doing in rehearsal, I knew they could get the mix of energy and pacing for this play and things came together beautifully during this performance. I realized they were going to going there midway through the Steve's (Chris Dooley) opening monologue. I wanted to shout out YES!YES!YES!
(repeated as many times as needed) because all the elements came together in a way that I knew they could. However, that would spoil the show and so I sat enjoying the experience.
I do not think I have ever enjoyed watching a show of mine performed. I wrote the bloody thing, but I still like to laugh at the funny bits. There is always something news to discover.
(repeated as many times as needed) because all the elements came together in a way that I knew they could. However, that would spoil the show and so I sat enjoying the experience.
I do not think I have ever enjoyed watching a show of mine performed. I wrote the bloody thing, but I still like to laugh at the funny bits. There is always something news to discover.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Zombie Apocalypse, Zompocalypse, or Zombie Outbreak?
I received an email from my friend Kevin in which he used the term zompocalypse or an apocalypse caused bu Zombies. Throughout this blog, I have favored the term Zombie outbreak, owing to the fact that we are having five Fringe performances and, therefore, five Zombie outbreaks. I like to think that a Zombie apocalypse will not happen in a single blow, but as a series of repeating outbreaks which will eventually incapacitate the fabric of society and render us impotent in the wake of the latest outbreak.
Whichever term you favor, the Zombie outbreak is a real threat which will be coming your way in little over a day (Thursday June 7 at 9:15 pm to be precise). Prepare yourself for another attack before the very fabric of our society gives way into a war of all against all.
One final note from Kevin. He forwarded me a wonderful YouTube video link called Plants Vs. Zombies Music Video. This video is a promotional video for a video game by the same name. I have linked it below. Enjoy!
Whichever term you favor, the Zombie outbreak is a real threat which will be coming your way in little over a day (Thursday June 7 at 9:15 pm to be precise). Prepare yourself for another attack before the very fabric of our society gives way into a war of all against all.
One final note from Kevin. He forwarded me a wonderful YouTube video link called Plants Vs. Zombies Music Video. This video is a promotional video for a video game by the same name. I have linked it below. Enjoy!
Zombie Survival Tip 5
Having two performances in two days, as well as company from out of town, I am a bit behind in this blog. For those of you loyal blog readers who have been wanting to know how to slay Zombies using everyday household objects, I have decided to put up a departure from the other Zombie Survival Tips. In this Survival Tip, we will discuss how to make a deadly weapon that can slay both Zombie and human. In laying out the instructions, I want to make sure that no one decides to use this on someone they hate. If I hear on the news that someone has been slain at the hands of the Zombie Ring of Death, we will know where to look. This Zombie Survival Tip also has a bit of the Martha Stewart handicraft feel, so it can satisfy most members of a family.
The Zombie Ring of Death uses a coat and a handful of nails and glue which can be easily be turned into a powerful weapon in the hands of any aspiring Zombie slayer.
Preparation
You will need the following items in order to construct the Zombie Ring of Death:
1 lightweight coat, preferably one that is not heavy
1 handful of roofing nails, size 1" to 1.5" inches long
1 hot glue gun
1 ruler
1 pencil
Procedure
1. Spread coat out onto a flat surface. Be certain that the back of the coat is facing you.
2. Using the ruler, measure out and mark every two to three inches across the width of the coat.
3. Using the roofing nails, punch the nails through each of the markings. You need to make certain that the nail goes through all the linings of the coat.
4. Using the glue gun, glue both sides where the nail goes through the coat. Let the glue dry overnight for maximum drying power. The inner lining should resemble a loose bed of nails.
5. Find a Zombie lurking around causing mischief and mayhem.
6. Get behind the Zombie, making certain you hold the Zombie Ring of Death by the coat sleeves so that the inner lining is facing you.
7. Throw the coat over the head of a Zombie, making certain to wrap the sleeves around the neck of the Zombie.
8. Squeeze tightly, making certain that the nails go through the Zombie's face.
To test for doneness, poke Zombie repeatedly with the ruler or a roofing nail. If the Zombie Ring of Death should have done its duty, then take a nearly 2x4 and smack the Zombie in the head repeatedly until truly dead.
The Zombie Ring of Death uses a coat and a handful of nails and glue which can be easily be turned into a powerful weapon in the hands of any aspiring Zombie slayer.
Preparation
You will need the following items in order to construct the Zombie Ring of Death:
1 lightweight coat, preferably one that is not heavy
1 handful of roofing nails, size 1" to 1.5" inches long
1 hot glue gun
1 ruler
1 pencil
Procedure
1. Spread coat out onto a flat surface. Be certain that the back of the coat is facing you.
2. Using the ruler, measure out and mark every two to three inches across the width of the coat.
3. Using the roofing nails, punch the nails through each of the markings. You need to make certain that the nail goes through all the linings of the coat.
4. Using the glue gun, glue both sides where the nail goes through the coat. Let the glue dry overnight for maximum drying power. The inner lining should resemble a loose bed of nails.
5. Find a Zombie lurking around causing mischief and mayhem.
6. Get behind the Zombie, making certain you hold the Zombie Ring of Death by the coat sleeves so that the inner lining is facing you.
7. Throw the coat over the head of a Zombie, making certain to wrap the sleeves around the neck of the Zombie.
8. Squeeze tightly, making certain that the nails go through the Zombie's face.
To test for doneness, poke Zombie repeatedly with the ruler or a roofing nail. If the Zombie Ring of Death should have done its duty, then take a nearly 2x4 and smack the Zombie in the head repeatedly until truly dead.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Weekend Wrapup
It has been a full weekend with the opening of Tainted Love and our second showing this afternoon. Our first show was reviewd by Citybeat,,which there is a link to the review: http://www.citybeat.com/cincinnati/article-25571-tainted_love_a_zombie_human_love_story.html
From the talk I have been hearing about the show, people generally like it. I am glad because I knew it was a leap to write a play about Zombies. Zombies are a hot topic right now and I knew there would be interest, but translating Zombies to the stage was an interesting challenge. I think the cast we assembled is more than up to the challenge. Mitch Polonksy as our Zombie Justin Bieber is a case in point. At every performance, I am seeing him deepen that role in ways that are more comedic and interesting to look at.
I just came off our second performance and think things are progressing nicely. This is somewhat surprising because they have been performing and seeing shows over the weekend (not to mention Fringe Prom on Saturday night), so you would think they would have been exhausted. However, they are a bunch of troopers who pulled off a good showing this afternoon. I am proud of them!
Tainted Love has its third showing tomorrow night at 8:15 pm. If you have not a chance to see this show, by all means try to make it. It is something that you should not miss.
From the talk I have been hearing about the show, people generally like it. I am glad because I knew it was a leap to write a play about Zombies. Zombies are a hot topic right now and I knew there would be interest, but translating Zombies to the stage was an interesting challenge. I think the cast we assembled is more than up to the challenge. Mitch Polonksy as our Zombie Justin Bieber is a case in point. At every performance, I am seeing him deepen that role in ways that are more comedic and interesting to look at.
I just came off our second performance and think things are progressing nicely. This is somewhat surprising because they have been performing and seeing shows over the weekend (not to mention Fringe Prom on Saturday night), so you would think they would have been exhausted. However, they are a bunch of troopers who pulled off a good showing this afternoon. I am proud of them!
Tainted Love has its third showing tomorrow night at 8:15 pm. If you have not a chance to see this show, by all means try to make it. It is something that you should not miss.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Zombie Survival Tip 4
In this ongoing series of how to defend yourself against the undead using everyday household objects, we have overlooked the role that houseplants can play in slaying the undead. Your household fern, flowering plant, or cacti can be used in the battle against the army of the undead. Please follow the steps outlined below for ways to make these decorative accents in your house into deadly weapons of Zombie destruction.
Preparation
1 houseplant.
If you have a green thumb and have several at the ready, please line up as many houseplants as you can. The size or variety does not matter. Chia Pets tend to irritate Zombies (as they tend to most human beings). Avoid using them at all costs.
1 chainsaw
1 baseball
1 baseball bat
1 baseball glove
Procedure
1. Get the attention of a Zombie who might be passing by. This should be fairly easy to do by whistling or shouting in the Zombie's general direction: "Hey! Don't pass up this tasty meal."
2. Set houseplant in the path of the Zombie. Zombie should be interested enough to acknowledge the plant in their path.
3. While the Zombie is preoccupied with the plant, kick Zombie squarely in the groin. Be certain to avoid getting your foot intercepted with the Zombie's mouth.
4. As the Zombie stumbles and fall over, they should have their neck exposed. Start up chainsaw and saw off Zombie's neck. You may want to wear some sort of protective covering so as not to get too much blood.
5. Your job is done. You can now play a game of baseball with the other survivors of the Zombie outbreak. You deserve a rest, so relax and enjoy yourself before you have to repeat steps 1-4.
Preparation
1 houseplant.
If you have a green thumb and have several at the ready, please line up as many houseplants as you can. The size or variety does not matter. Chia Pets tend to irritate Zombies (as they tend to most human beings). Avoid using them at all costs.
1 chainsaw
1 baseball
1 baseball bat
1 baseball glove
Procedure
1. Get the attention of a Zombie who might be passing by. This should be fairly easy to do by whistling or shouting in the Zombie's general direction: "Hey! Don't pass up this tasty meal."
2. Set houseplant in the path of the Zombie. Zombie should be interested enough to acknowledge the plant in their path.
3. While the Zombie is preoccupied with the plant, kick Zombie squarely in the groin. Be certain to avoid getting your foot intercepted with the Zombie's mouth.
4. As the Zombie stumbles and fall over, they should have their neck exposed. Start up chainsaw and saw off Zombie's neck. You may want to wear some sort of protective covering so as not to get too much blood.
5. Your job is done. You can now play a game of baseball with the other survivors of the Zombie outbreak. You deserve a rest, so relax and enjoy yourself before you have to repeat steps 1-4.
Opening Night
Opening night for Tainted Love went very well. We were about four to five seats shy of having a sold out show. The audiences enjoyed themselves and it sounded like everyone had a good time. It is so gratifying to see the actors doing such a fine job with the script that I labored over for the last six months. I do not think I have ever worked with such a finer group of actors. All the more reason to come and see the show.
The Zombie Outbreak Timer has been reset and the next outbreak happens TOMORROW at 3:45 pm in 1425 Main Street. Zombies have entered the Fringe and they are looking for YOU! Make their job easier by joining them tomorrow or at any of the other times we are showing our play. You won't be disappointed.
Alan
The Zombie Outbreak Timer has been reset and the next outbreak happens TOMORROW at 3:45 pm in 1425 Main Street. Zombies have entered the Fringe and they are looking for YOU! Make their job easier by joining them tomorrow or at any of the other times we are showing our play. You won't be disappointed.
Alan
Friday, June 1, 2012
Zombie Survival Tip 3
In this ongoing series on how the defeat the army of the undead using everyone household objects, I have been asked by several people "Can you really kill a Zombie using a toothpick or long-handled broom?"
The answer is a resounding YES.
Each of these Zombie Survival Tips has been throughly tested by a team of researchers who have devoted their lives to making certain that John Q. Public is prepared in case of Zombie attack.
Their latest suggestion utilizes a bananna, a frying pan, and a pound of bacon.
Preparation:
Gather together the following household items:
1 ripened bananna (Be certain that it is not too mushy)
1 regular frying pan (Avoid cast iron because they tend to be too heavy to swing properly)
1-3 pounds of freshly cut bacon (Our testers liked the thick sliced peppered bacon for this tip, but any bacon will do. It must be as fresh as possible. Zombies go organic; they have an aversion to food preservatives)
Procedure:
1. Rub bacon slices over the opening of a well, doorway to a basement, or elevator doors. Be certain to rub the fatty part of the bacon over doorway liberally. If you save bacon grease, you could also use that as well.
2. Lay a bacon trail from the opening of a well, doorway to a basement, or elevatror doors 100 to 500 feet from where the Zombie will first pick up the scent of the meat.
3. When the Zombie investigates the bacon, being lured by the smell of the raw meat, wait until the Zombie is near the well opening, doorway to a stairs, and elevator doors.
4. Open the covering to the well, doorway to a basement, or elevator doors.
5. With the frying pan, swing it wildly being certain that it connects with the back of the Zombie's head.
6. Watch with glee as the Zombie falls down the well, or down the stairs (several flights are preferably), or down the elevator shaft.
7. Congratulate yourself on being clever by eating the ripened bananna. You've deserved a treat after facing the army of the undead. Be certain that your Zombie was not walking around with a pair. Like nuns, Zombies often come in pairs.
The answer is a resounding YES.
Each of these Zombie Survival Tips has been throughly tested by a team of researchers who have devoted their lives to making certain that John Q. Public is prepared in case of Zombie attack.
Their latest suggestion utilizes a bananna, a frying pan, and a pound of bacon.
Preparation:
Gather together the following household items:
1 ripened bananna (Be certain that it is not too mushy)
1 regular frying pan (Avoid cast iron because they tend to be too heavy to swing properly)
1-3 pounds of freshly cut bacon (Our testers liked the thick sliced peppered bacon for this tip, but any bacon will do. It must be as fresh as possible. Zombies go organic; they have an aversion to food preservatives)
Procedure:
1. Rub bacon slices over the opening of a well, doorway to a basement, or elevator doors. Be certain to rub the fatty part of the bacon over doorway liberally. If you save bacon grease, you could also use that as well.
2. Lay a bacon trail from the opening of a well, doorway to a basement, or elevatror doors 100 to 500 feet from where the Zombie will first pick up the scent of the meat.
3. When the Zombie investigates the bacon, being lured by the smell of the raw meat, wait until the Zombie is near the well opening, doorway to a stairs, and elevator doors.
4. Open the covering to the well, doorway to a basement, or elevator doors.
5. With the frying pan, swing it wildly being certain that it connects with the back of the Zombie's head.
6. Watch with glee as the Zombie falls down the well, or down the stairs (several flights are preferably), or down the elevator shaft.
7. Congratulate yourself on being clever by eating the ripened bananna. You've deserved a treat after facing the army of the undead. Be certain that your Zombie was not walking around with a pair. Like nuns, Zombies often come in pairs.
Just a Few More Hours
According to the Zombie Outbreak timer, we are down to about 10 hours and some spare change before Zombies invade the Cincinnati Fringe. Creating this show has been a wild ride and unlike any other show I've put together. It really is a summary statement of everything that I have done before. It combining the emotion of Only When I Bleed (my play on cutting and self-injury), the tight dialogue I have been honing through my work with ten minute and one minute plays, and the comedy of Extreme Puppet Theater, and Dada, As Translated to Stage.
I will let all your fine folks see the results for yourself. Because I realized I did not put in specific information about dates/times/ticket prices, etc., I have included that below.
Take care and I hope to see you sometime during the run of this show.
Alan
-----------
Living Dead Production, in association with the Cincinnati Fringe Festival, A Know Theatre Production, proudly presents:
Showing at 1425 Main Street in Over-the-Rhine on the following dates/times:
Friday, June 1 at 8:45 pm
Sunday, June 3 at 3:45 pm
Monday, June 4 at 8:15 pm
Thursday, June 7 at 9:15 pm
Saturday, June 9 at 6:00 pm
Tickets are $12.00 and can be purchased in person at the venue 30 minutes prior to the show. Advance purchases can be made in person to Know Theater (1120 Jackson Street), by phone 513.300.5669 (KNOW), or online at cincyfringe.com.
Visit our Facebook page facebook.com/taintedlovezombies
or our website http://taintedlovezombie-humanlovestory.blogspot.com/
Synopsis
Los Angeles. Late 2012. An outbreak of V-86, a virus which turns people into flesh-eating Zombies, has struck. While attempting to leave the city, a Zombie bites Steve’s girlfriend Cassie and she herself becomes a Zombie. Steve learns that a friend has a cure that could turn his girlfriend back to human form. Risking his own life, Steve enters the Zombie Quarantine Zone to find Cassie, give her the cure, and save the woman he loves. Filled with action, humor, and horror, Tainted Love is about Zombies and the humans who love them. Tainted Love is presented in association with the Cincinnati Fringe Festival, a Know Theatre Production.
Cast Members:
Steve [CHRISTOPHER DOOLEY]
Cassie [EMILY FIGHTMASTER]
Tyler [DEREK EVANS]
Zombies of the Z.Q.Z. [JOHN FIGHTMASTER, JONATHAN HACKETT, ALLY LANDEN, MITCHELL POLONSKY, SHAUN S.SUTTON]
About the Playwright – Alan Jozwiak
Alan Jozwiak has had plays showcased in the Scenes from the Staten Island Ferry Festival (Sundog Theater, New York), GI60 One-Minute Play Contest (New York), Lamia Ink! International One-Page Play Contest (New York), and Madlab Theater (Columbus, OH). His plays have been a part of Cincinnati Fringe Festival (Dada, As Translated to Stage and Extreme Puppet Theater) and Indianapolis Fringe Festivals (Crazy Quilt).
Other plays include Cropcircles, Dora--Why Can't You Sit Still?, and Writing the Playwright. His play The Essex Cycle was also a finalist for the Metropolis One-Act Play Contest. He was also awarded a City of Cincinnati Individual Artist Grant to write and produce Only When I Bleed (staged in February 2009). A long-time member of Cincinnati Playwrights Initiative, he has served on its board in the roles of Treasurer and President.
Tainted Love: A Zombie-Human Love Story is based on a short story with the same title published in the Zombie story anthology New Dawn Fades by Post Mortem Press.
About the Director – Kevin Crowley
Kevin Crowley returned to Cincinnati in 2006 from Los Angeles where he worked primarily in TV including CSI, Reba, Without a Trace, Murphy Brown, Drew Carey, Malcolm in the Middle, Boy Meets World. Film credits include, Major League, Suicide Kings and the Package.
As an actor, writer and director, Kevin was with The Second City in Chicago, for nine years. He also appeared with the Steppenwolf, Northlight and Victory Gardens theaters in Chicago.
Other theater credits include War Music at the David Geffen theater in Los Angeles (2003, Ovation Award) and Mice and Men (2006, Acclaim Award) at the Playhouse in the Park and St. Louis Rep and a Cincinnati Entertainment Award for his work in Opus (2007) at the Ensemble Theater of Cincinnati.
He is currently on faculty at CCM Preparatory Dept. and has taught at NKU and Xavier University.
* * *
For more information about Living Dead Productions or Tainted Love, contact Alan Jozwiak at jozwiakalan@hotmail.com.
I will let all your fine folks see the results for yourself. Because I realized I did not put in specific information about dates/times/ticket prices, etc., I have included that below.
Take care and I hope to see you sometime during the run of this show.
Alan
-----------
Living Dead Production, in association with the Cincinnati Fringe Festival, A Know Theatre Production, proudly presents:
Tainted Love: A Zombie-Human Love Story
Written by Alan Jozwiak and Directed by Kevin Crowley
Showing at 1425 Main Street in Over-the-Rhine on the following dates/times:
Friday, June 1 at 8:45 pm
Sunday, June 3 at 3:45 pm
Monday, June 4 at 8:15 pm
Thursday, June 7 at 9:15 pm
Saturday, June 9 at 6:00 pm
Tickets are $12.00 and can be purchased in person at the venue 30 minutes prior to the show. Advance purchases can be made in person to Know Theater (1120 Jackson Street), by phone 513.300.5669 (KNOW), or online at cincyfringe.com.
Visit our Facebook page facebook.com/taintedlovezombies
or our website http://taintedlovezombie-humanlovestory.blogspot.com/
Synopsis
Los Angeles. Late 2012. An outbreak of V-86, a virus which turns people into flesh-eating Zombies, has struck. While attempting to leave the city, a Zombie bites Steve’s girlfriend Cassie and she herself becomes a Zombie. Steve learns that a friend has a cure that could turn his girlfriend back to human form. Risking his own life, Steve enters the Zombie Quarantine Zone to find Cassie, give her the cure, and save the woman he loves. Filled with action, humor, and horror, Tainted Love is about Zombies and the humans who love them. Tainted Love is presented in association with the Cincinnati Fringe Festival, a Know Theatre Production.
Cast Members:
Steve [CHRISTOPHER DOOLEY]
Cassie [EMILY FIGHTMASTER]
Tyler [DEREK EVANS]
Zombies of the Z.Q.Z. [JOHN FIGHTMASTER, JONATHAN HACKETT, ALLY LANDEN, MITCHELL POLONSKY, SHAUN S.SUTTON]
About the Playwright – Alan Jozwiak
Alan Jozwiak has had plays showcased in the Scenes from the Staten Island Ferry Festival (Sundog Theater, New York), GI60 One-Minute Play Contest (New York), Lamia Ink! International One-Page Play Contest (New York), and Madlab Theater (Columbus, OH). His plays have been a part of Cincinnati Fringe Festival (Dada, As Translated to Stage and Extreme Puppet Theater) and Indianapolis Fringe Festivals (Crazy Quilt).
Other plays include Cropcircles, Dora--Why Can't You Sit Still?, and Writing the Playwright. His play The Essex Cycle was also a finalist for the Metropolis One-Act Play Contest. He was also awarded a City of Cincinnati Individual Artist Grant to write and produce Only When I Bleed (staged in February 2009). A long-time member of Cincinnati Playwrights Initiative, he has served on its board in the roles of Treasurer and President.
Tainted Love: A Zombie-Human Love Story is based on a short story with the same title published in the Zombie story anthology New Dawn Fades by Post Mortem Press.
About the Director – Kevin Crowley
Kevin Crowley returned to Cincinnati in 2006 from Los Angeles where he worked primarily in TV including CSI, Reba, Without a Trace, Murphy Brown, Drew Carey, Malcolm in the Middle, Boy Meets World. Film credits include, Major League, Suicide Kings and the Package.
As an actor, writer and director, Kevin was with The Second City in Chicago, for nine years. He also appeared with the Steppenwolf, Northlight and Victory Gardens theaters in Chicago.
Other theater credits include War Music at the David Geffen theater in Los Angeles (2003, Ovation Award) and Mice and Men (2006, Acclaim Award) at the Playhouse in the Park and St. Louis Rep and a Cincinnati Entertainment Award for his work in Opus (2007) at the Ensemble Theater of Cincinnati.
He is currently on faculty at CCM Preparatory Dept. and has taught at NKU and Xavier University.
* * *
For more information about Living Dead Productions or Tainted Love, contact Alan Jozwiak at jozwiakalan@hotmail.com.
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